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2022

by Eli Lary

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1.
Post-Reality 05:02
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When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself. I just keep it to myself. When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself. To myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself. To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself. To myself I don't know why, I just do it. I just do it. I don't know why, I just do it. I just do it.
2.
Freaks 06:18
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communityedit navigation bar Freaks by Eli Lary Share / Embed Wishlist supported by josierankinlary thumbnail Edit Delete Bulk Edit 00:00 / 06:18 Digital Track Streaming + Download Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Buy Digital Track $1 USD or more Send as Gift about "Freaks is a song about people's perception of me and how it affects my ego. The "Freaks" are the people who I see as people who are trying to harm me. It's a negative thing to look at people like that. Like as though their entire existence is evil and out to get you. It's something I find myself doing a lot. Most people are good people who have just done bad things. This song is me conveying that feeling of hatred towards them but it's also a parody of myself for feeling that way. I recognize that it's the wrong thing to feel, but I still feel it. Simultaneously, the song is about how I am also the person who treats others wrong and potentially make them feel as though I am the Freak. I have a lot of memories of myself sitting in the back seat of a car, thinking to myself about the regret I feel over treating someone in a way that would make me feel awful if I was treated that way." - Eli Lary lyrics Freaks All around me I am what I be Nothing's ever free I exist, but just to please Show me how to be Everything you wanted me to be I realize that nothing's ever free Nothing's ever free Freaks All around me Show me how to be Nothing's ever free Don't take it out on the one you love It can be pretty hard through the push and shove Who am I to try and be the man above I got more than the man that you think you're sick of Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Imma kill a bitch who can't feel me, no I am but a man who can't see through, no All of my mind is just an empty skull Stabbed in my eye, I can't see at all Imma kill a bitch who can't feel me, no I am but a man who can't see through, no All of my mind is just an empty skull Stabbed in my eye, I can't see at all In the back seat Running through my head In the back seat I'm wishing I was dead In the back seat I know what I said In the back seat I hate what I said In the back seat I wanna kiss you instead In the back seat That's not what I meant In the back seat
3.
Crumbling 04:35
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music communityedit navigation bar Crumbling by Eli Lary Share / Embed Wishlist Edit Delete Bulk Edit 00:00 / 04:35 Digital Track Streaming + Download Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Buy Digital Track $1 USD or more Send as Gift about "Crumbling is the sonic explanation of delusion, where you're watching and feeling your reality crumble around you. You're delusional, which means that nearly all information is contrary to what you're experiencing. Things are becoming harder for you to understand and cope with and you begin to question your own reality as though you're in The Truman Show. You begin to feel as though the people around you, even the ones you care about, aren't there to help you and allowing them to help you is only going to cause you harm." - Eli Lary lyrics These are, um, odd ideas, for the most part, and they're, um, held onto tenaciously despite evidence to the contrary Despite evidence to the contrary Despite evidence to the contrary Despite evidence to the contrary Despite evidence to the contrary Despite evidence to the contrary Despite evidence to the contrary Delusional All of these ideas are, uh, delusional A year later I started walking down the street and people would threaten me A year later I started walking down the street and people would threaten me A year later I started walking down the street and people would threaten me A year later I started walking down the street and people would threaten me
4.
Kissing to Kill Time 04:27
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5.
Survive 05:01
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Oh, oh, oh, oh Feels like, feels like, feels like, feels like Oh, oh, oh, oh Feels like, feels like, feels like, feels like Throughout this storm, I'll survive I can't Throughout this storm, I'll survive Like it stirs in your mind, mind, mind, mind Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Oh, oh, oh, oh Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Throughout this storm, I'll survive I can't Throughout this storm, I'll survive Like it stirs in your Throughout this storm, I'll survive I can't Throughout this storm, I'll survive Like it stirs in your mind, mind, mind, mind Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Oh, oh, oh, oh Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Throughout this storm, I'll survive I can't Throughout this storm, I'll survive Like it stirs in your mind, mind, mind, mind Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Oh, oh, oh, oh Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Haha I don't really know how to feel anymore I don't really wanna know anymore I don't really wanna do this shit anymore I don't really wanna live anymore Where do I really go from here Everybody wanna know if I'm queer Everybody wanna know if I got that, if I got that, if I, if I got that Everybody wanna know Everybody know I just wanna know I don't really know I just wanna go home Thinking everybody knows who I am Thinking everybody knows that I can Can't get fucking off of fucking Instagram I can't stop thinking, I can't stop thinking If I'm really a man, If I'm really a man If I'm, If I'm, If I'm, fuck I can't pull myself away Even though I know you do me wrong I can't pull myself away Even though I know you do, do It's ten feet of snow I can't pull myself away Even though I know you do me I, I, I can't pull myself away Even though I know you do me wrong Throughout this storm, I'll survive I can't Throughout this storm, I'll survive Like it stirs in your mind, mind, mind, mind Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like Oh, oh, oh, oh Feels like, Feels like, Feels like, Feels like
6.
Calling My Name 03:48
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Task force warns nation to get ready for riots And to get ready for martial law And to get ready for concentration camps, this is in the first press Demons are calling my name I wish I wasn't insane Speak up, what is you saying I'm a demon I'm a demon Demons are calling my name I wish I wasn't insane Speak up, what is you saying Speak up, what is you s-, what is you s Demons are calling my name I wish I wasn't insane Speak up, what is you saying Speak up, what is you saying
7.
Things That Fall Apart 05:46
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When I look Up Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-baby, no, lord, I know Yes, it's summer How many million miles Woah, no Oh, lord How many miles How many miles How many miles I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you I've been thinking 'bout you I've been thinking 'bout you, you, you, you
8.
This 05:33
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9.
IT'S A BOY! 07:52
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10.
Will You Think About Me? 03:52
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It's too bad people can't retain any, er, gain any wisdom and realize "Oh, it's just another thing" But people get all upset, you know They think "oh, we gotta stop it now and wait" If I let you go, will you think about me If I let you know, will think about me If I blow it all, will think about me If I stop thinking, is it still reality If I let you go, will you think about me If I let you know, will think about me If I blow it off, will think about me If I stop thinking, is it reality Wait I don't really know myself If I am myself, am I really myself Am I myself if I'm myself anymore I don't really know I don't really care
11.
Freaks (Reprise) 04:16
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Freaks All around me I am what I be Nothing's ever free I exist, but just to please Show me how to be Everything you wanted me to be I realize that nothing's ever free Nothing's ever free Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Don't take it out on the one you love It can be pretty hard through the push and shove Who am I to try and be the man above I got more than the man that you think you're sick of Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me I am what I be Nothing's ever free I exist, but just to please Show me how to be Everything you wanted me to be I realize that nothing's ever free Nothing's ever free Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me I am what I be Nothing's ever free I exist, but just to please Show me how to be Everything you wanted me to be I realize that nothing's ever free Nothing's ever free Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Freaks All around me, around me Don't take it out on the one you love It can be pretty hard through the push and shove Who am I to try and be the man above I got more than the man that you think you're sick of Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me Freaks All around me
12.
Post-Reality (Original Version) 04:47
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When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself I just keep it to myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself I just keep it to myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself I just keep it to myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself I just keep it to myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself When I'm sad, I just keep it to myself To myself
13.
Survive (Emael Remix) 03:19
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14.
IT'S A BOY (Ambient Version) 09:56
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15.
Freaks (Keith Sweaty Remix) 03:59
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16.
My Biggest Fear! (Noise Comp) 06:32
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17.
Post-Reality (Corduroy Egg Remix) 01:58
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18.
2022 04:28
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about

For each month of 2022, I released a new song. This album is the full assembly of those songs, with a few extras that bring it all together.

It's difficult for me to put into words what this project is about.
Loss, confusion, suffering, fear, psychosis. Assembling the best of what I created during my experiences prior to 2022, this is what I came up with.
It's a lot to dig into, for sure.

Enjoy (and) Thank you!
(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

credits

released January 14, 2022

Lyrics - Eli Lary
Production - Eli Lary
Mixing/Mastering - Eli Lary
Artwork - Eli Lary
Remixes - Emael, Keith Sweaty, Corduroy Egg

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Eli Lary Portland, Oregon

Portland, Oregon

Experimental Electronic

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